JacQ the Space Pirate - A Sci-fi Fairy Tale

JacQ the Space Pirate – A Sci-fi Fairy Tale

Once upon a time—that is, a time after humans have discovered extraterrestrial life and colonized other planets—in a galaxy several light years away, there was a spaceship with a captain named Jacquelyn, or just “JacQ.”  When she was a young girl, she ran away from home to pursue her dream of being a space pirate.  To make money to buy her own ship, she became a mercenary and established a reputation for being a ruthless killer.  As a pirate, she managed to regain some honor, but she maintained a much-feared, mysterious reputation.  That, however, did not keep her from recruiting two members to fly with her: a pilot and a mechanic.  

One day, the three women managed to kidnap a prince named Leet Haxor, who was rather useless, save his ability to hack into any computer system, and his title, which came in handy during illegal negotiations.  After a month of holding him hostage, it became evident that there was no ransom.  The pilot and mechanic decided that they didn’t want to stick around when they were caught.  Either they would be executed or JacQ would kill the prince and run.  They didn’t want murder upon their conscience so they begged the captain to release him.  Of course the captain refused because her real reason for keeping the prince was that she had become enchanted with him.

The mechanic and pilot decided to revolt by taking Prince Leet away.  They knew that he had gotten bored with hopping from colony to colony, galaxy to galaxy.  When they landed on the planet that was ruled by his uncle, they told him that the captain granted him permission to see his relatives.  Then they told the uncle that his nephew was being hunted down by an evil space pirate and would be killed.  The uncle decided to lock the prince up in a guest bedroom on the 111th floor of the palace, which had no windows, but not before the prince hacked into the royal Internet system and sent a message to JacQ.

The captain never completely trusted anyone but herself so she questioned whether it was a conspiracy involving all three of them.  However, she decided to take the prince’s word and started searching for the palace.  On the way, she ran into a tentacled purple alien requiring assistance in fighting the eleven soldiers after him.  “How much?” JacQ asked as usual.

“I only have this, which grants one power beyond the comprehension of a mere human like you.”  He extended a tentacle, which contained a glowing orb.

“That’s not the best way to ask of help, and I usually don’t go for non-monetary rewards, but that looks like it can fetch a good amount.”

“You will not sell it.”  JacQ was going to walk away then, but the alien added, “It can help you.”  

Being the half-decent person she was, JacQ helped the alien.  She wanted to beat up a few people anyway.  She boarded a stolen hoverboard with the alien, who told her which direction to go.  

In front of the palace stood the traitors, guns ready.  If there was one thing that angered the captain more than anything else, it was the violation of an oath.  The pilot and mechanic had sworn to be under her command so now JacQ was out for blood.  After several shots were exchanged, JacQ ended up in a standoff with her gun pointing at the mechanic and the pilot’s pointing at her.  “Weren’t we friends?  You wouldn’t kill me after all these years, would you?” asked the mechanic.

“That’s the difference between you and me,” JacQ replied before pulling the trigger.  

She had trusted her guess that the pilot wouldn’t have to guts to kills her.  She walked away with only a shot in the shoulder, which wasn’t bad compared to other injuries she’s gotten.  However, the pilot ran away, and a string of every curse word ever invented—and some new ones JacQ quickly made up—followed.

The soldiers, which had been following the captain and the alien, weren’t much of a problem, but one must pity them though because they had the misfortune to face our wrathful anti-hero.  When she arrived at the room containing the prince, the door was locked.  

“Follow my instructions,” said Leet as he prepared to give her code to hack into the lock.

“Don’t bother.  I’ve wasted enough time saving you,” she muttered before blasting the door open.

Their escape to be more difficult as they had to deal with bounty hunters who had heard the infamous space pirate was in town.  However, the alien was able to guide them through infrequently traveled paths and create new ones to misguide their pursuers.

The trio flew to a space colony that refueled ships and granted sanctuary to all individuals.  JacQ changed her hair color, put on a skirt, and worked as a bartender to pay for supplies and room and board.  Meanwhile, the pilot bribed a bounty huntress to follow them and pretend to be JacQ so she could steal the spaceship.  Since JacQ frequently changed her appearance (except for her iridescent black trenchcoat) and never wore feminine clothes, the people believed the imposter.

Things were just not going her way.  JacQ wanted to break something so she threw the nearest thing she could get her hands on.  It happened to be the alien’s orb, which hit the colony’s president on the head as he walked into the bar.  The orb contained some alien magic that gave whoever it came into contact with visions of the truth.  It made the typically gullible man doubt the imposter’s claim.  “The real JacQ can have ten drinks and still shoot five holes in a card 50 meters away,” he declared.

JacQ accomplished it with so little effort that the bullet went through every heart in the Five of Hearts.  The imposter didn’t even get close to the Five of Spades.  Still everyone remained skeptical because the alien could have rigged the contest.  Then, she showed them all the scars she had from previous battles and, to settle things once and for all, the bullet that remained in her shoulder, which came from the pilot’s gun.  JacQ changed out of her barmaid outfit and put on her signature trench coat.  All the bystanders ran away in fear because they heard stories about her bad temper.  

The pilot and the bounty huntress got lucky in a way because JacQ couldn’t torture them to death on the colony.  However, they were banished for lying to the president.  One could not doubt that it wouldn’t be long before JacQ tracked them down and killed them because she was the kind to hold grudges.

Prince Leet and JacQ could have gotten married and inherited a planet, but they had too much fun being space pirates.  JacQ didn’t see the point in marriage anyway, and there would be too much politics involved in being wedded to a prince.  Thus, she taught the prince and the alien some practical skills so they could help her operate the space ship, and they lived happily ever after, pillaging and plundering throughout the galaxies.