I just realized that I never linked to my NaNo profile. Here you go: lithiumflower . I haven't updated much and probably won't until this Sunday at the earliest.

Right now, I'm trying not to type up my novel because I have the uncontrollable urge to go back and re-write everything I've written. I've caught myself doing it, and it's doing nothing in terms of moving my story along. Being a perfectionist is not a good thing. For once I'd like to finish something more than 20 pages so I can give the finger to my critics (I'm probably coming off as arrogant, but this is the least whiny way to put things).

This segues nicely to my current writing woe. I don't have writer's block exactly. The ideas are there, and if I concentrate, the words will come. My issue is that I'm just not in the mood to work on my novel right now because it's supposed to be my attempt at writing a "happy" story. Actually it's more of a dark comedy than anything truly happy, but despite the bad things that have happened to characters, the majority of them are well-adjusted, angst-free individuals. Very different from my anti-social geniuses and angry punk rockers. I suppose I'm being mean when I don't allow my characters to be happy just because I'm in a bad mood (and bad moods are a frequent thing with me). Anyway, I'm getting distracted by other stories.

On an unrelated note, I've decided to refine my goal in life. I don't just want to reach out to people with my writing. I want to make them cry. It sounds terrible, but while watching clips of Alice Nine's new concert DVD, I was brought back to when I saw them perform "Waterfall". A mere Youtube video was enough to make me a bit teary-eyed because the wave of emotions that seeing and hearing the song live has stuck with me. I want to have that kind of power as an artist; I want to be able to convey emotion to someone who may not understand what I'm saying or who may not be able to relate to the subject.

"When tears are shed, the things that can't be wiped away are the blue days, resembling tranquility, that don't fade away
That's why, I'll live with you the way I am. There are no wounds that don't hurt, towards the sky that was too far away." - "Waterfall" by Alice Nine (translation by Akatsuki)